TERRIBLE DAY

Sometimes one has to stop going, doing and chasing and just start spending more time being with oneself. No matter how much you want things to happen, all you can do is wait. And usually, waiting is the hardest part ~ you just have to have a little faith.

Today is just one of those days that one tries so hard to avoid showing the worse side of them. Nothing or no one has brought this on but it’s just felt from within. This is a day where your expectations are somehow unreasonable knowing in mind that everyone has to see everything in your perspective. Consciousness is the highest state of awareness anyone can attain. At this state you have access to the infinite possibilities of knowledge. Adversity is a fact of life that can’t be controlled and I just can’t help but have a heavy heart and sulk all day. Technically, my day is not going the way the corner of my mouth should be turning.

We live in a society of always wanting more, working harder everyday trying to fulfill all of our needs that we have set for ourselves. The more we look for outside satisfaction the more we feel empty inside, not realizing that all we ever needed to feel complete was to look within.

  



DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL

Whether you pushed me or pulled me, drained me or fueled me, loved me or left me, hurt me or healed me; You were part of my growth. No woman is rich enough to buy her past. As much as mistakes are part of the dues that one pays for a full life, you will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.

Eight Years back; I was still living in the era of ‘daddy’s world’. I can’t refute the fact that I am still a daddy’s girl, but by then I had my way and got everything I wanted. My mind was set and much more focused in a very spoilt approach. I had power, I felt the potency in life and everything fell in its place without caring how, when or who got hurt in the process. It was just all about me; my way or the highway. Daddy has always taught me to be a sensible woman; independent soul, hardworking, honest, kind etc name them all. I used all his teachings to bring the aggressive side of me in a not so friendly way and I got away with all, big times. Then everything changed within a short period of time; hurt, disappointments, broken spirit, in capabilities, rejection, critical changes, stress, suicide attempts, depression and it went on and on constantly. This was the most tragic period of my life, a session where I knew nobody can lift me out from this dungeon pit other than myself. No amount of road-trips, alcohol, tears, self inflicting pain, anger, depression, isolation could ever pull me out from the pit. Well, almost two years of pulling out myself and I finally did it. Got back to daddy’s basic teachings only this time around abiding by them in a friendly way. Accepting the woman I became through my tribulations and knowing that I can never change the consequences, made me love all of my mistakes, and all of my fears. They are the very things that propel me forward, keeping it interesting, and most importantly ~ connecting me to life.

A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action and when you love life, it will love you back. I knew I wanted my life to be a magnificent story, so I begun by realizing that am the author and every day I have the opportunity to write a new page. Our feelings and actions are conditioned by our daily recurring thoughts, coming from our beliefs. To relieve ourselves from the chattering of our minds, take a deep breath and enjoy the present moment where life exist. When life’s strong winds come blowing, bend with them and let go. By bending, you will become stronger in new places. By letting go, you will be making room for the new and the better. Am still daddy’s little girl who knows for a fact that true strength is keeping everything together when everyone expects you to fall apart.

MY JOY AND PRIDE

Fantacia Gerdine Lore

 

I am a great believer in people and very passionate about their successes; as a woman if I stand for nothing I would definitely fall for anything, so my standards are input. I have learnt never to lay emphasis on the future, in that I live life one day at a time and in day tight compartments. Peace and happiness are not found in hard work, hobbies or pleasure but from the serenity of one’s Soul. It is not merely a distant goal that I see, but a means by which I arrive at my goal. Women are hard to miss and it is just our energy that makes us so believe that a woman can never have it all. The best antidote for fatigue is engagement with what you like best; I usually escape the world by being a mother-figure to Fantacia Gerdine Lore who is now Forty Months old and I must say this is the most sensible triumph so far in my life.

My existence so far may not be the party I hoped for, but while am here I might as well dance. Life is full of beauty that I have noticed it through my little girl. Her smiling face lits my inner-being up; I virtually live my life and share from her heart. People spend a lifetime searching for happiness looking for peace - They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions and even other people hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is; the only place they ever needed to search was and will always be within. I mean, freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better. Learn to love the flaws that you see within yourself as they are often unique characteristics that other people love the most about you.

Our souls are hungry for meaning for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter, so that the world will be at least a little bit different for our having passed through it. What frustrates us and robs our lives is the absence of meaning. The life I touch will touch another life and that in turn another; I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me. It is sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on the future generations.

When you make loving others the story of your life, there’s never a final chapter because the legacy continues. You lend your light to one person and he or she shines it on another and another. Life is too short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who really need our compassion, be swift to love and make haste to be kind. My imaginations has been my preview of life’s coming attractions and for a fact as I put my ear down close to my soul and listen hard; I now know I didn’t have to conceive or be the biological mother to my princess to attain the maternal vibes instilled in me. She is my Joy and Pride!

My Passion in Life

Having more joy does not necessarily require a life overhaul; you may just need to create more space in your life for moments of joy. There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself ~ an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly. I have come to learn that: When I follow my passion, success always trails along. Life is not merely to be alive, but to be well.

My passion for kids has brought joy in my life. To know even one life has comfort and breathed with ease because I have lived for that to me is success. Sometimes we need to honor what we feel to just realize our true purpose. Am content to be simply myself and never to compare nor compete earns me respect. I take a moment each day to be grateful for all of life's simple blessings. A child's smile is a huge satisfaction one can ever attain. Love and compassion are necessities, not luxaries. Without them humanity cannot survive.

I never want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long perfectly manicured fingernails. Would love to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbours children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.

I believe all joy is an extension of gratitude, if we can find something to be thankful for, no matter what's going on, no matter how small ~ we can grasp the coattails of joy. Remember: There is no such thing as small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logic end.